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Boats
'-some of your guys to bring a boat by, so I can get on the water and test drive it.' You need some of our guys to bring a boat by. Bring a boat by where, sir? I live on the water, it's not going to be a logistical problem. I'm sorry, sir. Oh, you are? Excuse me? Well... I just picked up the phone and said hello, sir. Maybe you'd like to fill me in on something? Okay, let me fill you on something right on the tip of my tongue here, and that's that I'm Bernard Fuddle, and I've been on the water for 47 years. I've been on schooners. I've been on an eighty foot yacht. Many times. In Colorado? Now I live in La Junta, and I need a couple boats up. I've got hundreds of millions of dollars, but what you don't seem to fathom is that I need to get on the water a-LONE for two to three days to make a decision. How does that sound right off the bat? It sounds like right off the bat that there might be a couple of things that you and YOUR money don't fathom. I'm a little surprised that you would call, and be surprised that I didn't know who you were; and that...over the phone I would tell you that why sure, we'll send however many boats you want for how many days you want... Phone? Hell, I'm here now. I'm ready to meet up with your representative. Well, where's "here" now? I'm in La Junta, Colorado. Um...OK. Hundreds of millions of dollars in assets. Uh-huh. You know...I would like to help you sir, but you're not making it very easy on my end. Oh, no? Well... I'm ready to come down there... ...and I have some statements that you're very wealthy, and it seems to me your time is worth more than mine, and I'm trying to work through this with you, but..uh..you know, I'm listening... I saw the hot air bal-''' What is the name of the business you called? '''I saw the blimp in the air. The blimp? And I called the number. I don't have any blimp flying in the air. I think you're barking up the wrong tree with YOUR attitude here, pal. I've been on the water 44 years, and I expect...I've been on the sea for half that many years. You know, is it your money that buys you the respect? The boot on my foot...which I'll take to your seat! You know, I'm really impressed with that...could you, um...goodness gracious, a phone call like this and you're telling me all those things, you're gonna put a boot in my ass, and I'm still on the telephone with you! I'm wondering if you dialed the business you think you have. Which kind of boat is it you're looking for? Are you false advertising with your blimps, or where...I don't know where you stand... Sir, we don't have any blimps in the air. Maybe you're trying to call Goodyear. I think that you need to examine where you stand, before you put stuff in the air! Well, sir, I'm standing right behind the counter. Now where did you call? I called the number in the air, and if you guys are putting stuff out in the air and you can't even put your HANDS on it...heh, boy... This company doesn't have any blimps in the air. You're gonna have a lip on the sidewalk, if you make me come down there. I've got hundreds of millions of dollars at my disposal. And... Could I ask the number you dialed? I need two boats, this weekend. Have you ever been to La Junta, Colorado before? Well, that's where I keep hundreds of MILLIONS of dollars. You know what, it seems like you've had a couple of drinks, I'm not for sure. But I'm going to ask you one more time: the phone number that you've called... I'm not going to ask you, again! When can you be here? I'm in La Junta, I'm on the water. I'm on the water now, ready to do business. I'm ready to do a transaction that you put figures in the air... Sir... And I'll whip y'ass! Okay. Why don't you stick that boot through the phone line and get to kicking? Category:Whip Category:Bernard